Chapter:2
I don’t know that I’ve drifted off until I wake up to an acrid smell choking my nostrils. The smell of a corpse.
It is the smell of someone who has been dead for at least a day, their blood taking its time to spill wholly on the ground and taint it scarlet red, the kind that shines under the room’s light and reflects in one’s shocked eye, displaying the dead person’s lifetime for them to dwell on it, dwell on the fact that they might be next to suffer from the same fate.
Yes, that must be it, there is no other explanation.
They killed her, they killed Tina and they’re coming back for me, they don’t need us anymore. They don’t care about the fact that Tina could fly, they don’t care that I’m too smart for my age, they’re going to slaughter me and display my body for all to see, humiliating me even after my death, but what have I done? What has Tina done? We’re only children, we’ve only been—
A sound stops my thoughts midtrack.
A familiar sound, yet stronger and more intense than anything I’ve heard before. Could it be… The sound of chewing?
I can’t help but flinch at the disturbing repetitive noises that seem to penetrate inside my head like a cruel, unforgiving parasite. Who is eating at this hour, in a savage way? And what are they eating?
Not what, who.
Despite the sheets covering my whole body , I shiver.
A series of conclusions flash in my mind like a deadly arrow tearing through the flesh of its target.
They must have brought a monster and he ate Tina and he’s still eating her and my door cell is probably open and he is unleashed and he’s going to come after me and these could be my last thoughts and —
The chewing stops abruptly, and I hear Tina’s voice from behind the wall.
Penelope? Are you here?
I stiffen and pierce my lips together. It can’t be her, she’s dead and I’m alone here.
She’s dead and I’m alone, she’s dead and I’m alone, She’s dead and I’m alone. I repeat over and over again, convincing myself that all I have just heard was an illusion made by my broken mind, finally succumbing to the effect of this place.
It is not. The voice comes back, stronger this time.
Penny! It’s me! Don’t be afraid of what you’ve just heard, I’m fine, I’m sorry, you must’ve thought…I’m sorry.
A wave of relief washes over my whole body, purifying it from every worry and every fear. I feel all the energy being drained out of me now that the adrenaline’s effect is fading away. I’ve been stupid enough to believe someone pretended to be her after eating her alive, but now I know it’s her.
A monster would never, ever apologize for what they’ve done to you. Which means she was the one making those chewing noises.
Then whose corpse was it? Stupid. So, so stupid.
She’s the monster, I think, and I curse my foolishness, over and over again in my mind.
I’m sorry , she repeats.
I shouldn’t have kept this from you.
I’m right. I’m right, but it’s too late now. That’s why they brought me to this cell. I’m probably dead already.
I hate myself everyday for doing it, but I can’t , I can’t, Penny, I can’t help it! It’s what I am. You understand, right?
I keep my silence as a last shield protecting me from worsening my situation. If I provoke her, my death would be painful, just like my life.
Please, Penny…
She’s pleading. Why is she pleading?
You know they brought us here to modify us, break us, rip away our humanity and replace it with everything that was not us. Some of us became powerful but gentle, some did not lose their past selves, like you. I envy you sometimes, Penny, but you’re still my friend. That’s why you have to know… They shattered me, they shattered me the most..they made me fly. At first it was fun, being able to float above anyone else, feel as safe as you could be in this place, up there… They let me go out sometimes, not to get rusty from lack of flight. I thought they were being nice to me, that was before I’ve noticed the changes in myself. I heard them say it manifests in later stages, or something like that…
It’s the first time I hear about another prisoner’s story, and I can’t help but stick my ear to the wall, all my attention turned towards her.
On the first days, the hunger was hell, but the frustration was unbearable. No matter what they brought me, I pushed it away, my brain wouldn’t consider it as food anymore. I didn’t know what satisfied the monster they implanted in me , I begged them to kill me, I couldn’t bear it Penny, It hurt so much.
One day, as one of the guards came to bring me another untouchable meal, I saw a dagger dangling from his belt, I figured it was my chance to finally kill myself and get done with it. I wouldn’t let them control me, would I? The guard knew my plan at the last minute. I was underfed, so of course I was slow. He fought with me over the blade, I don’t remember the details, but he got injured, and that’s when my life went upside down, more than it already was, if that makes any sense.. He was bleeding like crazy, his hand slick with the scarlet metallic liquid, and some horrible, horrible thoughts crossed my mind…I was so hungry…if I could just take a bite… You don’t want to know the rest, but I can tell you that he’s fine, now, the guard… I didn’t….
She pauses, out of breath. Then she takes a deep one, exhales slowly, and continues.
They bring me bits of flesh now, which explains the strong smell, you’re going to have to get used to it, I’m sorry…I can control it, I swear. It isn’t like back then, when I lost total control, and If we’re ever face to face, I swear on my parents’ graves that I will never hurt you!
I’m surprised to realize that all what she’s said so far does not in the very least terrify me. We were both rats they liked to experiment on. I know only too well what they’re capable of, and I also know that hating yourself for what someone else has done to you will only make your life worse and improve theirs. She couldn’t help what she’s become, but I admire her for taking control of it, even if it wasn’t right from the beginning.
“Just don’t hide anything else from me anymore” , I whisper, and I’m amazed she could hear it, for she lets out a cry of surprise at finally getting a response from me. I could sense her smile from a mile away.
Yes ma’am.
“We’re here in this together, you’re not a monster until you decide you are, okay?” Sometimes I think you’re way older than me, like my mother or something, she tells me, her voice breaking under the pressure of emotions rushing at her.
I don’t know how to respond to that. I’m glad I don’t have to, because I hear the click of my door cell before a tall man wearing a white suite comes in, bringing me my set of vegetables.
I stiffen and wait till he leaves, then I grab the plate and start chewing slowly, the hunger rushing back at me the more I eat.
For the first time since I last remember, everything tastes sweeter than it was, before I met Tina. Oh how vital company can be for humans.
The rest of our days were also the happiest.. We made sure we slept at the same time, then when one of us would wake up first, she’d wake the other. That way we spent the most time taking. I finally, finally had a friend. When they’d get Tina out for her flying sessions, I’d wait for her eagerly to tell me about the whole facility.
Once you enter through the main door, a few stairs greet you. Your descent ends when you reach the main hall. From a newcomer’s point of view, it looks like an arena, swarming with people going back and forth between the countless labs, Some carry heavy loads of paper filled with I don’t know what. Some were hurrying after their bosses looking rather grim. She said the smell hit you first when you got out of your cell, but she got used to it a long time ago.
Once you lift your head up, you get a little dizzy from the view. Stairs, stairs and stairs, left and right, up and down, as though the whole building was an illusion, not quite real. I silently wish it was, that all this was just a dream and that I would wake up to a warm breakfast made by my mommy and a kiss from my daddy, telling me it was all just a nightmare.
Tina would fly sometimes, just for fun, follow the course of every set of stairs to see where it led. Sometimes she’d just climb them. She once wanted to look inside the rooms. She was pretty sure she was hearing screams from a certain one on the highest floor. She flew to it and looked inside through the glass door. She was pretty sure the screams were coming from that room, but she did not see any soul in there. Were her eyes deceiving her? I couldn’t tell. I was not, unfortunately there to judge, but I recall what she said when we first met: So it wasn’t just my brain playing tricks on me.
By telling her there were more of us, she knew those screams were real, but how come she couldn’t see them? We both did not, sadly, have an answer.
She told me she has never seen the sky from up close, she only knows it from her dreams. That dizzying feeling you get when you look up to only find the endless blue that embraces Earth like a caring, protective mother. That feeling of insignificance you get when you realize how small you are compared to the universe, and that euphory, rushing at you like a merciless water current, drowning you in its ecstasy, filling you with one single thought: freedom. You are free to look at the sky in all its grandness, to fly amid the various shapes of clouds: white magical creatures and white real sceneries , white memories of a distant past and white promises of a better future, white ghosts of people you’ve loved and lost and white silhouettes of people you’re yet to meet, bound to change your life forever. Scattered white and endless blue: those are the colors of the sky in daylight, under the warmth of the sun seeping through your cold, frozen skin, sending a squeal of delight up your throat, despite your desire to contain it. As the sun sets, one of life’s most beautiful sceneries unravels before your eyes.
Hot colors pierce the horizon, and a war explodes.
It is not like our kind’s savage, unforgiving, merciless wars, those which start with dull, grey gunpowder and end with scarlet, vivid blood. Not at all. It’s a war of colors, leaving nothing but beauty in its trail.
Baby blue warriors advance toward the front lines, sacrificing themselves not to let their enemy conquer. Alas, the latters are way stronger than them. The war sheds blood, and it taints the
horizon in countless shades of Scarlet, then amber, then emerald, and sometimes, a faint shade of amethyst, and aquamarine.
Finally, finally, the war ends when the sun disappears from your sight. Sapphire swallows every single spec of daylight, taking with it the clouds and the calming blue, bringing with it the stars. An entirely new view unravels once again before you. You could gaze longingly at the distant scattered lights, make a wish whenever a shooting star appears, close your eyes and imagine you’ve reached the sky limits, an entire heaven with creatures of light and homes for all newcomers, for they shall never feel like outcasts in that city. Slowly, sleep takes you away in his arms, and your dreams are those of a girl with a family and a home, with ambitions she could achieve, with friends she could see, and with a life that’s worth living.
Tina described all this to me in such intensity I suspected the only thing she remembered from her previous life was the sky in all its forms.
“Do you think you’ll ever see it again?’ , I ask her, one day as we eat our meals.
I’m working on it, Penny, and you’re going to see it too. I almost choke on my own tomatoes.
“What do you mean?”
You’ll see, maybe in a few days. Meanwhile, here’s a fun fact.
“Yes?” , I inch my ear closer to the wall to hear.
My wings are totally useless! Then she laughs, her giggle sending a wave of warmth up my spine. It is rare to see her laugh while she’s eating. Me, I was slightly surprised. If she can’t use her wings, how can she fly?
As if answering my question, she says: I don’t actually fly, I control gravity around me. I could…speak with it, I guess, if that makes sense.
“It doesn’t” , I say in a confused voice, and it sounds more like a question and less like a fact. She chuckles.
I tend to whisper a single sentence before I start floating and moving around in the air. I feel a jolt of excitement as my heart starts racing faster, anticipating the possibility too extraordinary to be true.
“Do you think I can do it too? Tell me the sentence! I’ll try, here and now”
I hear her take a deep breath, closes the distance between herself and the wall, and says the words through it, so that their magic arrives to my ears clearly and fully.
O Gravity, keeper of the Order, binder to the Earth, master of the Laws, please take me away.
My lips are sealed shut, waiting for the rest of the words to rush out of my friend’s mouth. However, a long pause follows, and I wonder whether that’s all to say, or Tina has fallen asleep mid sentence. After a few minutes of silence, I ask the obvious.
“That’s it?”
Her answer is immediate, as though she has been waiting for this exact reaction.
Yes, that’s all. “That’s all you say?” Indeed. “Well…okay”
